A Formula For Gathering Men
“There is no one gospel presentation in a modern world. We need to find three thousand ways to make the gospel good news.”
- Timothy Keller (1950 - 2023)
Friends,
In recent weeks, I’ve had the privilege of sitting in two different rooms, full of expectant men, gathered under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. We’ve called these gatherings Kinsmen: Table.
Although these two particular Table gatherings were nearly one-hundred miles apart, the settings couldn’t have been more similar. Nearly all of these men were from the same communities in which we met, yet most represented different vocational interests, different denominations, different churches, different backgrounds, different races, different ages, and likely even different political perspectives.
Yet what brought us together and what maintains this fellowship is this: Each of us are united together in Christ, we are a brotherhood, and we are a community. This must remain front and center.
The well-known late German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote extensively on the subject. His book, Life Together, is a must read and re-read for every believer, but especially for men. Why? Because most men find community hard to find and his book outlines the essentials for how we should gather in community.
A few questions to consider though as we open this dialogue:
How do we find community as men?
Do we even want community as men?
Why is it even important?
What preconceived notions have kept me from seeking community as a whole?
We often internalize these and similar questions to the point of inaction, which is why it’s increasingly difficult to reach and effectively gather men. In the past year, I’ve read more than a dozen articles citing study-after-study about how men are less engaged in church, and how they’re lonelier and more isolated than women, yet in most cases, the way in which we continue to engage men seems to center on the same ingredients: a dose of entertainment, a dash of sports references, a spoonful of speakers, a sprinkle of shame, and a cup of motivation.
And viola, the resulting recipe is a transformed man and father.
No.
One-time experiences are good, very good, they can be beneficially formative, catalytic even, but we need much more, and we need it more often. In the dozens of conversations I’ve had with men in recent months, I can tell you that they’re eager for an authentic and relatable community where they can connect with other men who carry a shared sense of conviction, courage, and faith.
So then, how are we supposed to find a community like this?
Well, perhaps we start by meeting men where they are, rather than reminding them of where they should be. There’s a considerable population of men who love Jesus who desire fewer platforms and preaching, in exchange for more tables and talking, scripture and story.
Here’s a formula worth considering, based upon Bonhoeffer’s writing:
Reading of Scripture + Breaking of Bread + Prayer + A Song of Worship + Repentance = Engaged and Encouraged Men
I’d also add the elements of honor, excellence, consistency and the curation of meaningful dialogue as helpful components in effectively reaching and galvanizing men.
So then, how do we begin breaking away from the mold to create fresh, invigorating, meaningful spaces for men to come together?
We’re exploring these and other questions as an organization here locally and elsewhere through Kinsmen: Table in the months to come. I’d love to hear about what you’re doing, what you’re part of and how you’re connected to a community of men. Or if you’re not, what do you long for in one.
With gratitude,
Peter Ostapko
Founder | Publisher
