I’ve heard the phrase said before, not too many times, but enough to understand the basic premise and meaning. And since I’d be writing on the subject of neighbors, I figured a quick search was warranted. Here’s what I found; generally speaking, the phrase is usually associated with a negative connotation, implying the social or economic decline of a neighborhood or street. This could be either residential, commercial, or an even in an urban context. The history of the phrase is somewhat debated, but usually it traces back to mid-21st century neighborhoods.

At its core though, it implies a foreseeable decline or an unwanted change by some.

I believe this phrase is primed for renewal.

For our family, we’re coming off of a summer that was filled with some of the more memorable times I can remember. Sure, we were fortunate enough to take a vacation to the beach, and also a trip up north to spend extended time seeing family out-of-state. And it’s not lost on me that a vacation, even one anchored by a packed minivan driving across the south, should be viewed asa comfort, and for it, I’m deeply grateful.

I’ll tell you though, what made this summer extra sweet wasn’t just because of the trips, though they were special. And it wasn’t just because of the lake house or boat that our friends invited us on, though that was special too.

I believe it was because of our neighbors.

Generations prior would tell you that they would often call on their neighbors for a cup of sugar or an egg to finish a recipe, or to grab the mail for you while you’re out of town. Nowadays though, most of us wouldn’t want to inconvenience someone else, so instead, we hold the mail through theUSPS, or we opt for a 30-minute trip to the grocery store and back for the sugar or the eggs.

All the while, a trip next door to the neighbor’s house would take no more than 3 minutes.

Isn’t it funny how we’ve designed our lives for such optimization and efficiency, yet when it comes to our needing something from someone else, we unconsciously throw out logical reasoning. Sure, if we opt for the trip to the store, we can get milk too, and bananas, and a fresh loaf of bread. But what we’ve unknowingly exchanged is what sociologists will tell you is one of the most important components of building friendship and trust, unplanned interactions.

For many of us, our neighborhood is the lowest hanging fruit of opportunity for meaningful friendship and connection, because unplanned interactions present themselves everywhere.

Taking the dog for a walk around the block, kids knock on the door to play with your kids, mowing the lawn on a Saturday afternoon, a fire pit on a cool evening, each of these are opportunities for unplanned interactions.

I love a planned date night with friends as much as anyone, but the reality is, when you have a young family, it’s increasingly difficult to see your closest friends regularly each month as families, planned or unplanned. Not to mention, dates can be expensive, especially if you’re   paying a sitter.

This is why getting to know your neighbors can be one of the greatest gifts in your life. Proximity of neighbors certainly fuels our love for convenience, but much more importantly, the frequency of interactions, planned and unplanned is difficult to find anywhere else.

I remember the late Spring of 2020; the world was coming out of lockdown and I vividly remember seeing and talking to neighbors that we’d not yet met since we moved in three years prior. Yes, the vibrancy of everyone spending time outside faded the months following, but for about 4-6 weeks, it provided a glimpse into the Mayberry life. What we learned that summer, or at least what we were reminded of, is how getting to know and spending time with your neighbors is deeply important.  

Since 2020, our family has made an intentional effort to get to know and spend time with our neighbors. Our neighborhood would be considered a true middle-class suburban cluster. Both blue-collar and white-collar families live here, there’s young families and retired seniors. And we always have a few aging teenagers, which makes for some obnoxious nights every now and then, but that’s ok, because we were all teenagers once too.  

This past summer in particular though was filled with some of the more memorable moments that hard to find outside of a neighborhood; kids bikes scattered across the yard, 14 popsicle sticks in the driveway, wiffle ball in the street, and cannonballs in the deep-end while the parents visit and sip Spindrift and Waterloo.

Just in the past few weeks, I’ve played golf with three other guys who live down the street, called on another one to help me when I thought our family dog was dying, picked up grass seed for another, and asked another neighbor to check on our home while we were out of town. What I’ve realized is that our neighbors have become an essential fabric within our family’s life. Our kids play for no less than seven hours each Saturday and Sunday with the other kids down the street, outside. Every single weekend. We’ve intentionally built margin in our family’s calendar to cultivate the soil beneath our home and that of our neighbors and neighborhood.

This doesn’t happen by accident, and it certainly doesn’t happen by opening the garage, pulling in, closing the garage and spending the evening in front of the tv or only in the backyard. In fact, I often leave the garage door open when we’re home, just to subtly let our neighbors know that we’re home in case they need us.

And now these interactions over the years, planned and unplanned, have compounded not only into some wonderful friendships, but in some ways, we’ve become beautifully dependent on our neighbors, because I’ve learned that we need them. And I’d like to think that they need us to.

And so, to close this out. Yes, there goes the neighborhood in fact, there it goes, flourishing, because so many have chosen to leave the garage door open rather than closed.

Oh, and please forgive me on the time I’m sending this email, my plan was to send it out around 7:00 PM, but it turns out my neighbor was roasting s’mores and hotdogs down the street in the driveway and we got caught up visiting with them, along with a new neighbor that moved in this summer. The fire pit this evening was completely unplanned, but that’s a good thing.

Get to know your neighbors. And if you’re a follower of Jesus, it could easily become the greatest opportunity you’ll ever have to be salt and light. And also, it could remind you of the gift that it is to need others too.